Renewing my mind.

I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately--absorbing the burden of trying to figure out exactly what I'm supposed to be doing in life, struggling to understanding my self-identity, wondering how to make everything mesh together well.  The way that I have dealt with many of these issues has been to adopt an attitude of ambivalence.  I have disengaged.  The end result is that life has just sort of passed by, and I'm no better for it.  But, it's a lot harder to care when you've decided that they way to deal with certain circumstances is to not care.

I have given a lot of thought as to how I might break free from this lifestyle...how can I get out of the funk, and how can I bless others whose lives have been affected by it (namely, Joe and Andy)?  I've identified a few things that, if implemented, can help me to make some real progress.  Maybe you'll find that some, or all, of them could be helpful for you, too.

1. Stop planning and start doing.  I'm an excellent planner.  I have lists galore.  If I spent a little bit less time thinking about what I want to do, and spend more time actually doing it, I think I'll find that I get a lot more done (I say as I make a list to indicate what I want to do...).  I don't need to write down every last detail of how I spend my day--I know what needs to be done! Similarly, I am great at coming up with viable career options, but don't ever actually go through with any of them.  It's better to try and fail than to not try at all, right?  I'm reminded of Yoda: "Do or do not.  There is no try."  Ah, the wisdom of a little green puppet Jedi.

2. Be more transparent and, as a result, be more vulnerable.  If I can't be honest about the things that frustrate me, or hurt me, or challenge me, then how can I expect anyone to use their gifts to help me?  This is something that I especially need to work on with Joe.  He's my husband--he loves me dearly, despite knowing full well that I'm incredibly flawed--so I need to be better about putting it all out there for him.  In a weird, but real way, I think that this is a way of showing the depth of my love for him, too.

3. Believe that I can do it.  I have found that one of my greatest stumbling blocks is self-doubt.  If I would just adopt a more positive attitude about my potential, then I bet I'd find more success in reaching my goals.  I can run this 5k in December.  I can achieve my weight loss/health goals.  I can write a book.

4. Be transformed by the renewal of my mind.  Scripture is chock-full of stuff that is applicable to me.  It is life-giving and life-affirming.  It is one of the most marvelous tools that I can use to figure out who I am and figure out who I ought to be and to figure out how to get from point A to point B.  And, yet, I don't actively engage the text often enough to really take advantage of such a valuable resource.  I need to re-acclimate myself with Truth.

I think that, when I come out the other side of this tunnel, I will be grateful for the journey that I've taken.  I feel so encouraged, already, by the steps I've taken.  I hope you can find that in your own life, too.