The Weight is Over, Pt. 3

Hi again.

Today, as part 3 in this little series, I will venture to share the things that I have learned over the course of the past several months as a result of my efforts toward health.  I'm sure I'll forget some things, and I'm sure that there are still plenty more to be discovered, but my hope, as ever, is that, somehow, maybe what I have to say can be helpful to someone else...

1. G.I. Joe is right: Knowing is half the battle. The assumptions that I made about foods before actually taking the time to learn about them were only partly supported by actual data.  For example, yes, it is true that fast food is incredibly unhealthy.  So, I was right about that.  But, for reasons unknown, I somehow had it in my mind that a tortilla, being so thin, must not be too terribly high in calories.  It is 200 calories for one of those bad boys.  So, for every quesadilla I made, I was using up 400 calories just in wrappers...and the beans and beef and cheese and guacamole (or whatever else) inside accounted for plenty more.  Being informed of the nutritional value (or lack thereof) is very important.  So is measuring...because, turns out, my assumptions about that were way off base, too.

2. Being informed about the things that we eat is wildly important.  Here, I don't mean calories.  I mean chemicals.  And salt.  And the whole universe of crap that we take in under the guise that it is 'food.'  My awareness for things like this began when my sister and I had a conversation about the variety of creamers on the market.  She just had the straight up, standard half and half in her fridge.  At that point, I had some low fat flavored business in mine.  First of all, the calories in mine were higher than hers because of the sugar content.  Second, I can't begin to tell you what the ingredients are in the one that I had.  So, needless to say, I'm using regular half and half now, too.  I've read lots of books that recommend that we eat whole foods, that we stick to ingredients that we can pronounce and/or whose origins we can trace.  I think that this is very good advice in lots of ways; it turns out that it has helped me to lose weight, too.  For the sake of full disclosure, I have to admit that I turn a blind eye to Kraft 'Cheese and Macaroni,' because, well, I don't care.  It's delicious.  But, for everything else, I really believe that real stuff is the way to go.

3. It's not pizza's fault. I actually love pizza.  And, we have a bread maker that we've used to make our own crust, which makes it even better.  But, I've had to work hard to learn not to blame the pizza for my problems.  Or Samoa Girl Scout cookies.  Or chips and salsa.  It's my fault.  I've made the choices.  I've let myself be tempted, and I've given in to it.  I've justified it.

4. There will be setbacks.  There are little bumps in the road.  There are giant hills in the road.  And there's the treacherous Christmas Mountain that must be defeated.  It's not always easy.  In fact, it's rarely easy at the beginning.  I gained a few pounds in December because I let myself go more than I should have.  It is more effective to be honest about those setbacks than to pretend that they never happened.

5. Setbacks are not a good enough reason to admit defeat.  In fact, I've learned that I need to have a short memory when it comes to setbacks.  It happened, it stunk, now let me move forward and have a more productive next day/week/month/whatever.  Quitting is just not a good option.  Even at the worst points along the way, quitting has never seemed like a good idea since it would surely land me back where I started--or worse--and I really don't want to ever feel that way again.

6. You must be gentle with yourself.  Screw ups happen.  But, when you start from a place of deep pain and regret, it's important to be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes, and to keep in mind that you are working--very hard--to be better.  But, Rome wasn't built in a day, old habits die hard, and...you know...a bunch of other colloquialisms.

7. You are not alone in your struggle. Seriously.  There are people all over the place who are feeling the way that you feel and failing the way that you fail.  There are people who are in worse shape than you, and who have fallen much harder and deeper into despair.  The only reason you're alone in this is because you choose to be.

8. If you let people in, their support will be immeasurable. I never expected people to really give much thought to me doing all of this.  I probably told myself that as a defense mechanism.  But, honestly, the outpouring of love, support and encouragement that I've received has been incredibly humbling and inspiring.

9. Be a good friend and, no matter how much time passes, your friendship will remain intact.  I haven't always been the best friend, that's for sure.  I've hurt feelings along the way.  I've been unreliable too many times.  I've told some secrets even though I've pinky-sworn that I wouldn't.  But, all things considered, I think that I've been a pretty good friend.  And, I've been blessed to have lots of friends in lots of different places.  And now, thanks in large part to Facebook, a huge percentage of those people have gotten in touch with me.  Many have done so to congratulate me on my success thus far, but I've also gotten messages, and have even made plans to visit with, people who I haven't seen for years--some for more than a decade.  Some people have shared some of the difficulties that they have faced in their own struggle to be healthy.  Others have shared their own perspective on how things were back in middle and/or high school.  Some have just reminded me that they loved me even when I was at my worst.

     Now, since this is my blog, and I can say what want, I want to take a second to point out that these people are my friends despite the fact that I know we disagree pretty adamantly about some of the political hot topics.  And/or we disagree on religion--either on which one is correct, or what role it should play in our lives--and the life of the collective society--or both.  We disagree on any number of things.  But that doesn't affect the nature of our friendship.  We're friends despite our differences.  We can be supportive of each other, while still being true to ourselves.  And, I'm sick and tired of people blocking other people out of their lives because they aren't willing to do the same.  It's not just possible--it's the right thing to do when your friendship really matters.

10. You can do it.  And, with patience, you will do it.  It's hard to wait.  It's even harder when you see other people start later and finish earlier.  It's hard when you see people who are just skinny, and who have excellent cholesterol, and who can run a 5k without batting an eye...and it's just always "been that way."  But, it's possible.  And, as "habit" overtakes "discipline" and "fun" overtakes "work" and "vulnerability" overtakes "ego", it even becomes probable.  I'm only a little more than halfway there, in terms of my weight goal.  But, being mentally and emotionally much further along makes it a much more navigable journey.  And, being surrounded by so much love not only makes it easier, but it makes it completely and entirely worth it.